A Demure Damsel Manufactured

“Do you see how I initiate sex? Very demure, very mindful,” I repeat the viral phrase popularized by @joolieannie on TikTok.

“And as we finish, he comments, ‘there’s no way you’re as impressed with my game as I am yours.’”

“And I so elegantly whispered in his ear, ‘aw, thank you guess third time lucky—what a charm you are to me then.’ And he has been blowing up my phone all day, every day, since that day, ladies.’”

My girls spew their drinks whilst sitting in the beer garden at Sloaney. On Thursdays, we typically debrief each other on our updated rosters of men.

Up for debate tonight—the numbers game. Regardless of what they assure you, prospective Prince Charmings care about girls’ body counts; hence why saying the magic number 3 suggests a smidge of innocence (like oops, no never tried anal) yet conveys a curious willingness to try anything (at least once).

Do with that information what you will.